Monday, November 16, 2009

The page that now wants the Sheep AND 3 Lions

So Tiger came down under and did the business. He not only made the cut (that many critics feared he wouldn't), he led for most of the tournament and despite a minor hiccup on day 3 never really looked in much trouble. It was rather good to watch actually, the man is the best there is, and in my opinion the best there ever will be, and I for one hope he will be back soon. Apart from the golf there has been plenty else on, including the qualification by New Zealand for next years World Cup. Well wonders never cease! And to think that they bemoaned us leaving the Oceanic Region, claiming it would only weaken the area. Well guess what guys, if we didn't leave for Asia, you wouldn't be going to South Africa!

King of the Week

Australia won the Four Nations tournament - So what?
New Zealand qualified for the World Cup - And?
Tiger Woods wins one of our major golf championships without much effort, thats a true champion! The laughable thing was he received $3.25M just for turning up and if you noticed the novelty sized cheque he received for winning the tournament you will have noticed that the winner pocketed $270,000. Bloody Hell!

Dick of the Week

During the 80's and early 90's the sporting viewing public grew up with free-to-air coverage and it was all we knew. Then the Pay TV revolution hit and the wonder of a sports dedicated channel hit. No longer were we suffering through ads just before a crucial moment in a game, or an ad break just after a goal or try. We have been spoilt, spoilt to the point that whenever a major sporting event is shown on free-to-air we remember just how bad it was.

The coverage of the golf on Channel 9 was horrible. The footage being shown on Fox Sports and Channel 9 was exactly the same yet they couldn't have been further apart. In the Fox Sports commentary box we had golfers who clearly knew what was going on. Channel 9 had dicks such as Eddie Mcguire and Kenny Sutcliffe, whom both probably love "putting from the rough". On course commentary for Fox Sports was provided by Lucas Parsons, now celebrity Masterchef, but not too long ago a touring professional who provided quality comments. Channel 9 provided Ex-Australian wicketkeeper Ian Healy, who couldn't have done more to make himself sound and look like a dick if he tried.
Long live Pay TV, long live Fox Sports.

Even the sheep are happy
So NZ made it through to the South African World Cup, and I'm happy for them. Especially if it improves our slim hope of hosting a World Cup in the foreseeable future by lifting the profile of the region. But this post isn't about their qualification more about the celebrations. You see, as I was watching the highlights of New Zealand's qualifier I was taken back my the noise the crowd made as they celebrated the goal. The crowd went nuts. It seemed even a sheep or two were shouting with joy. Or maybe I'm just hearing things. Or maybe it was just the Fox Sports crew were having a lend. Have a listen for yourself.,8659,26351007-5019291,00.html

All White on the night
Let me just start by saying that I think that the "All Whites" as a name for a sporting team would have to be up their with the "Bunnies" in terms of lameness. Seriously what is up with that name? Then again I suppose we can't really talk, "Socceroos" is embarrassing, but thats a rant for another day.

I'd just like to express my happiness for the sheep shaggers and their recent qualification for next years World Cup. I didn't catch the game live but when I saw the replays the next morning I have to admit that it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, it took me back to that sweet night in November when we had our own historical night. While those last chance 2 legged knockout games are massive emotional rollercoasters, when the end result goes your way it is sumthing special! Now we are in Asian we will never have that again, hopefully.

So once again "All Whites", congratulations, you have now provided one more whipping boy to the group stages. Lets hope that we now get drawn with both you and England! Now that would be something special!
The Fiddler

The best in the world?
Watching the Australia v Oman game on Sunday morning, yeah yeah I know I'm sad but I'm sure I wasn't the only one, I came to a conclusion. It is my opinion now that Mark Schwarzer is the best goalkeeper in the world. Now I have been a fan of the bag mans for some time now and this is not an opinion I have come to lightly. I think every Australian fell in love with him for those magnificent saves that got us to the World Cup, it wasn't Aloisi's penalty, it was Schwarzer's saves!

Last night against Oman he proved once again how good he is with some fine efforts that kept us in the game and he was the only reason that we were able to then go on and win the game. With him I think Australia can go a long way next year in South Africa, without him I think we are f@#*ed!

Wish they were all like that
Just a quick one on Ricky Herbert's post match interview after New Zealand made the World Cup. I loved it! It was how interviews should be, it was pure, it was raw and it was honest. He was so caught up in the emotion of it all you could see that he was almost in tears. Quality.

The thing that got me though was he was so caught up he let out a few swear words when describing things, he let out a few f@#*s, but who could blame him! The interviewer didn't even blink though, he just carried on asking questions, then at the end of it I think he wanted to give the coach a massive pash, but instead a massive man hug was all he got.

That's what sport is all about, that kind of emotion is why we love it!

Just a pity they are going to get smashed by whoever they get drawn with!

The ‘not sport’ retort
Apologies for being a bit slow on the reply lately, but I just read Skins comments about swimming NOT being a sport. In his words, swimming is more of a ‘life skill’ than a ‘sport’. Geez, if we used that as the basis of what constitutes a sport, we’d have nothing left to bet on. More so, Yeahmatego would be about as popular as Harmo.

Allow me to explain.

Driving a car is a life skill. So by Skins’ definition, do we ignore all forms of motorsport?
Riding a pushbike to school is also one of life’s skills. But does that mean we take cycling out of the Olympics?
I can give my mate a real good dead arm – but who’s gonna tell Tyson that boxing’s not a sport!
Swatting flies in the kitchen takes great skill and reflexes. So do we disregard tennis, squash and badminton while we’re at it?
I’ve contorted my body on a dancefloor! While it’s a fairly unimpressive ‘life skill’, is it reason enough to take away the sporting credentials of rhythmic gymnastics?
How about bending your knees while you lift heavy boxes when you move house – another important life skill. But then suddenly weightlifting is off the sporting calendar as well.
Now, we’ve all run after a bus once or twice…so is it time tell Usain Bolt he’s no longer a sports star!
I’ve also whacked a cane toad with a 5-iron…an essential ‘life skill’ of a Queenslander. But for some reason golf is still on Fox Sports!
And what about pony rides at the Royal Show? Does that mean the ‘sport’ of kings is just a televised novelty?

All I’m asking Skins is that you just think things through before you go making rash statements like swimming NOT being a sport. Geez, next thing you’re gonna to tell me is that walking shouldn’t be a sport either!

One thing that should be a bloody sport though is typing. I’m stuffed!

Monday, November 9, 2009

The page that thinks it sucks that we got Eno instead of Tiger

Well I don't know about you, but I had a very successful weekend. Did I accomplish anything major personally? Well no, but both my teams won on the same weekend which hasn't happened that often this season so I'll take it when I can get it. I for one am looking forward to watching the golf this weekend and I really hope that Tiger rips Kingston Heath apart. I wonder if our great State Premier Rees is watching everything that is happening in Melbourne at the moment and if he realises what a f@#* up it was not to try and get Tiger up here for the Australian Open. This would have to go down as one of the worst sporting related decisions in our states history!

King of the Week

People couldn't understand how Tiger Woods could be worth $3 million just to turn up and play in the tournament. Well a full sell out on all days, including the practice round, which is unheard of even in the USA, pretty much proves the Victorian State government right. Congratulations to Victorian Premier John Brumby, if only we had a Premier with half a brain, but then again if we had that maybe we would have better roads, better transit, better hospitals, better...............

Dick of the Week

Sorry Brett, but even if you "want" to play for the Australian Test team again, they don't actually need you any more because, well your actually a bit shit now! Just let it go man, please realise that you body can't do what it could 5 years ago and go out with a bit of class. I mean you have always got your Bollywood career to fall back on!

Him? Really?
I hop online this morning and do my regular sports page browse before I start smashing the keyboard for the man and I get the shock of my life. I'm on Fox Sports and I had to refresh the page several time just to check if it was a mistake or something, nope still there. Next I find a calender and check the date, nope it's not April Fool's Day either. Was the world coming to an end? I can hear you now, "what is this guy on about?", well I'll let you know what has me confused and shocked!

Alex Brosque has been selected in the Australian squad for the upcoming Asian Cup qualifier, and yes, I'm serious! I was in shock as well!

Let me begin by saying that I think Brosque is perhaps the worst player currently playing in the A-League. If he isn't the worst, he is easily inside the top 5. Lets not pretty it up, the guy is absolute rubbish! I mean he isn't even the best player at Sydney, let alone the A-League. His playing partner up front at Sydney at the moment deserves to be called up way before this wank.

I am wondering if this is like back in the days of juniors when every team has that 1 kid that is just pathetic, but he is in the team so the club can feel good about themselves for giving a retard a fair go. Has Pim Verbeek been told by the FFA that he needs to be seen giving equal opportunities to the minority groups and thats why this spastic has been given a chance? Bloody hell!

There is one positive that comes out of this, It makes you believe that maybe you still have a chance to make the team yourself, I mean I may be the wrong side of 30, a bit overweight and have no left foot, but if Brosque can get a run, then you just never know. You have my number Pim!

Shorter, but the same point
Brosque? You can not be f@#*in serious!

Life and times
Being a Liverpool supporter at the moment is like you are on one hell of a roller coaster. One minute you are plummeting towards what feels like the depths of hell at such a pace that you can feel your own balls in your throat and all you want to do is spew. Then within seconds you have been jerked upwards with such a force that the balls that were just moments ago in the back of your throat, are now hanging around ur knees (see victory against Man Utd). Then the ride upwards starts to slow down a bit, and you know in the back of you mind that it can only end badly, but your heart is telling you "it's ok, we are going to keep going up, all the way to the top", but damm that Newton and his laws of physics! This time the ride back down is twice as bad as the as the first one and you know deep down that the bottom is a long way off.

I really shouldn't be cheering a 2 all draw with Birmingham so much........but I did anyway!

"You will never walk alone"

Points of view
After the Chelski v Man Utd game on Monday morning I was left with a very bitter taste in my mouth and my hatred for those wankers in blue increased. I just had a few points I need to get off my chest.

1- Drogba is a f@#*in cheat! No doubt he has quality but the guy is and always will be a cheat. For one of the more physically styled players in the world the man goes down like a sack of shit at the slightest touch. The incident in the 2nd half with Evans is a prime example. Sure Evans got him with a quality Kung Fu kick to the chest and was lucky to get away with it but Drogba's reaction afterwards was like he had taken a spear to the chest and was drawing his final breath. Cue 1 minute later and he gets a bizzare yellow card for the incident and suddenly he has recovered enough to smash the ref with abuse, wanker.

2- The free kick that led to the goal was a home team free kick if ever I've seen one! Never in a million years a foul.

3- Speaking of fouls, how about the foul on old Wes "baked bean head" Brown in the box, effectively taking him out of the way of the ball that ends up in the back of the net? Nothing! And who takes Brown down? Drogba!

4- I f@#*in hate the fact that Lampard runs away celebrating that goal like he was the reason it went in, you had nothing to do with it you fat f@#*!

5- United can not win the league playing Carrick, Fletcher AND Anderson at the same time, they are all rubbish!


Not surprised
So Ferguson basically calls the ref from the Chelsea v United game a cheat and looks like he will get away with, why am i not surprised!?

This guy could call the Queen of England a slut and he wouldn't even be called to apologise!
The Fiddler

Friday, November 6, 2009

The page that would rather sink than swim

Well another week has passed us by on our run in to Christmas and I for one am looking forward to the weekend. I'll be sure to follow Trento's tips this weekend after I backed "Headway" last weekend and got a very healthy $15 return, cheers bigman. There will be plenty of sport to wet the appetite over the next few days with quite a few Australian teams running out, oh and the Wallabies have a chance to prove they are not entirely crap as well!

Trent's Top Tips
So the Cup has come and gone, and you may be wondering why there wasn't a special Cup tip from yours truly? Well you see I have a saying about the Spring Carnival "Derby Day is for the purists, Melbourne Cup day is for the mugs, and Thursday is for Trent! Anyone who knows anything about horse racing will tell you how hard it is to back a winner on Cup day, and that why I steer clear.

Just before I get to my Top Tips I would just like to bring up a sore point that has been with me for a while now in regards to this blog. You see the King of the Week award was handed out to one Bart Cummings a few weeks ago, and while I hold nothing against the great man, it was the statistics below his pic that had me up in arms. You see there is a name missing off that list, one that should actually have been at the top, ahead of Cummings. A certain T.J. Smith, who in his career racked up alittle over 270 "Group 1" winners, just a minor oversight I know, but the man is my hero! Anyway onto the tips.

Tip 1 - Flemington - Race 5 - Patinack Farm Classic, Number 6 "Mic Mac" straight out people

Tip 2 - Flemington - Race 6 - Emirates Stakes, Number 1 "Black Piranha" eachway bet of the day!

Is that shit about Aggasi for real? The dude really wore not just a toupee as he likes to call it, but a whole skinned Yak on his head for nearly a decade? Bloody hell talk about vanity. Next you'll be telling me that Burt Newton's hair isn't real..............

Is it just me?
November, the time of year that makes everyone believe that they are a sudden expert on something that is as likely to pick as lotto, The Melbourne Cup. in the face of expected criticism I am going to put my hand up and say that I don't like "the Cup". Call me unAustralian if you like, it doesn't bother me. I also willing to admit that I don't even have a bet on the race, and havn't for some years now. We really should just rename it the "Bogan Cup" and get it over and done with. Did you ever watch the movie "Kenny"? Those scenes where he is at the track on race day? Thats whats wrong with the Cup, to many bogans with no idea what they are doing.

I think this is where my real dislike for the day stems from. As a regular punter, who likes to think they know a thing or two about horse racing I find nothing more irritating than just after the big race finishes and your horse is still running, a once a year punter turns to his mates and says "yeehaa, I got it, $500 bucks baby" and if he is honest he probably only picked that horse cos they jockey was wearing the same colour silks as his boyfriends underpants!

I know some of you will say thats the beauty of the Melbourne Cup and blah blah blah, but I don't buy it. More often than not the horses that should win it, don't, Makybe Diva excepted.

I know most of you wont agree, but I'd rather the Golden Slipper or the Coxs Plate any day!

Not bad hey?
So the Aussie cricket team is doing quite well on their tour of India even with all the injuries they seem to be getting. We all thought they were just being little girls when they were complaining about the fixture list, but maybe they have a point. However thats not the point of this mail, I really just wanted to make a quick point in regards to Tendulka. The man quite simply is a legend! Every time you think he looks like he is getting a bit past it he comes out and proves you wrong. the 175 he scored, in a losing team mind you, was simply superb! My hat is off to you "Little Mystro"

It is not a sport
I heard recently about a study that they did about kids and the sports that they were involved in. This report came back with swimming on top, followed by Football(soccer) and then AFL. I may have mentioned before my thoughts towards swimming and it being regarded as a "sport", but i'll bring them up again.

Swimming is NOT a sport. Plain and simple swimming is something that we in Australia see as a necessity of life, something that our culture requires as a life skill. From a very early age children in the country are sent off to swim school to teach them a life skill, can u imagine if kids were sent, at the age of 1, to football classes?

This hatred of my towards swimming goes further, all the way to how swimming is only shown so much respect in this country, not because of it's entertainment value, but rather because we actually win medals and no other reason. I mean have you actually ever tried to watch on of those televised meets? F238 me they are boring! But that is another rant altogether.

You have to see this
I can't believe this hasn't been mentioned on Yeahmatego yet! If you havn't seen the two dudes who invaded the pitch during the Barnsley v Man Utd Carling Cup game, do yourself a favour and use the link below, hilarious! Maybe even funnier than the 2 guys is the complete lack of ground security!

Monday, November 2, 2009

The page that would like to admit it wears a rug

I hope everyone has had a good Melbourne Cup day and had a little bit better luck than I did. I was on the old fella, Master O'Reilly, and I think the extra kilos any horse I back carries was a bit too much for him, pity they don't pay out on 4th! Through the fear of turning this post into a Liverpool-a-thon I have only posted a few of your rants, I mean who really wants to hear another crying Liverpool fan!

King of the Week

Agassi recently admitted to taking crystal methamphetamine once during the 90's, something that caused him to spend the next few hours cleaning his house, but that isn't enough for him to be crowned the King, no for that you need somrthing special. And thats what he gave us days later with the revelation that he wore a wig during the 90's. Even going as far to blame the wig for his loss in the French Open final in 1990. If only the thing had fallen off!

"I asked myself: you want to wear a toupee? On the tennis court? I answered myself; what else could I do?"

Dick of the Week

Is this the worst Wallabies team ever? It is hard to think of a team so poor that currently pulls on the Green and Gold of Australia!

A Letter to Man United, Chelsea and Arsenal Supporters of the English Premier League
On behalf of long suffering Liverpool supporters, I hereby apologise to all rival supporters for wasting your time. As a quarter of the season has passed, it is clearly evident that we are not worthy of competing with you (or a beach ball) for the Premier League title. From the performances given, it appears the team are quite tired of being one of the ‘Big Four’ and are quite content to slide into the mid-table wilderness.

In addition, I would like to thank Manchester United for their generosity by allowing us the defeat you at Anfield last weekend. It was greatly appreciated by all of us during this difficult time in our history.

Once again, please accept my apologies on behalf of all Reds supporters for our naivety in thinking that we had a football side that could compete with far superior opposition such as the above-mentioned teams that you support.

Kind Regards,
The Dazzler

So in all competitions this season, Liverpool have played 16, won 8, lost 8.
That is all.
O'Meara, LFC fan, depressed as f**k

As good as us? Please!
I love a good local derby, and I like them even better when my team wins them. Add to this your biggest rivals telling anyone who will listen in the weeks leading up to the game that they are on your level, that they are playing better football than you, and that their bench is alot stronger than yours and it makes that sweet taste of victory so sweet it could rot your teeth.

To Tottenham S@#*s, f@#* you! You think your on The Arsenal's level? Please! You havn't won a North London Derby in over 10 years!
You think your playing better football than us? Please! you long ball crap on Saturday was the stuff that would have made Bolton proud! Your shit, and you know you are!
You think your bench is stronger than ours? Please! If your bench was so strong then why didn't you play those players from the begining of the game? They couldn't have been worse than the rubbish you put out for kick off!

You would have thought by now that you'd have learnt your lessons, never ever slag us off! It doesn't work! You are a small London team, you will never be anything else, live with it.

Damm I love beating you!

The race that stops a recession!
A few weeks ago I went down to Ascot for the start of the Spring Racing Carnival. It was coming up to race three and a friend of mine picked her horse – ‘Snug Buggles’. When I asked her why she picked Snug Buggles, she answered with the confidence of a seasoned tipster. Her reason…she went to see the physio that morning, and the physio’s pet dog’s name is, coincidentally, Buggles.

Hmphf! What a crap system I thought to myself.

Snug Buggles went on to win. And I went on to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the day.
We now find ourselves at the Melbourne Cup. As a mad keen punter, I’ve had very limited luck on the Cup. In fact, any luck I did have was used up in its entirety last year when I put a lazy $20 on Viewed at 45-1!
So, who should we be putting our money on? I still haven’t decided!

Traditionally, betting on form is always good. But I’m not talking horses here. Get on Cummings! Viewed has already lined my pockets and I’d be happy to see it happen again! The only issue is that Bart’s chasing his 13th Melbourne Cup – and, from all reports, he’s considers 13 an unlucky number.

And that brings us to superstition. Even the most die-hard punter would have to admit they’ve gone with superstition at least once in their life – lucky numbers, lucky colours and lucky names – it’s part of the tipsters bag of tricks.
Superstition is often superseded by the sentimental favourites. Who'll ever forget Damien Oliver’s winning ride on Media Puzzle; only days after his older brother died tragically in a training accident. My Mum backed him that day ‘cause she said it was ‘just meant to be’. Mum was also on Makybe Diva when she ran home for her third straight win. Come to think of it, who wasn’t on the Diva that day!

Now, how about those pesky international horses that fly into town to spoil our race? Take Delta Blues (and second place runner, Pop Rock) as the perfect example. What the!? Those Japanese types are supposed to make good jockeys, not horses!! Their win added another losing TAB ticket to my Melbourne Cup collection!
Oh, and in case you’re looking for a bit of lady luck on Tuesday – I did ask my Snug Buggles friend for her tip. For what it’s worth, she's got her money on ‘Changingoftheguard’ because...well, she just likes the name. But who really needs a reason on Cup day, right?!

Whatever you put your money on this Tuesday, the number-crunchers down at the TAB reckon a record $1.67billion will be wagered on the 2009 Melbourne Cup! What global financial crisis you say! It's no wonder the Reserve Bank is putting interest rates up on Cup day. Well, that's the hot tip anyway.