Monday, November 2, 2009

The page that would like to admit it wears a rug

I hope everyone has had a good Melbourne Cup day and had a little bit better luck than I did. I was on the old fella, Master O'Reilly, and I think the extra kilos any horse I back carries was a bit too much for him, pity they don't pay out on 4th! Through the fear of turning this post into a Liverpool-a-thon I have only posted a few of your rants, I mean who really wants to hear another crying Liverpool fan!

King of the Week

Agassi recently admitted to taking crystal methamphetamine once during the 90's, something that caused him to spend the next few hours cleaning his house, but that isn't enough for him to be crowned the King, no for that you need somrthing special. And thats what he gave us days later with the revelation that he wore a wig during the 90's. Even going as far to blame the wig for his loss in the French Open final in 1990. If only the thing had fallen off!

"I asked myself: you want to wear a toupee? On the tennis court? I answered myself; what else could I do?"

Dick of the Week

Is this the worst Wallabies team ever? It is hard to think of a team so poor that currently pulls on the Green and Gold of Australia!

A Letter to Man United, Chelsea and Arsenal Supporters of the English Premier League
On behalf of long suffering Liverpool supporters, I hereby apologise to all rival supporters for wasting your time. As a quarter of the season has passed, it is clearly evident that we are not worthy of competing with you (or a beach ball) for the Premier League title. From the performances given, it appears the team are quite tired of being one of the ‘Big Four’ and are quite content to slide into the mid-table wilderness.

In addition, I would like to thank Manchester United for their generosity by allowing us the defeat you at Anfield last weekend. It was greatly appreciated by all of us during this difficult time in our history.

Once again, please accept my apologies on behalf of all Reds supporters for our naivety in thinking that we had a football side that could compete with far superior opposition such as the above-mentioned teams that you support.

Kind Regards,
The Dazzler

So in all competitions this season, Liverpool have played 16, won 8, lost 8.
That is all.
O'Meara, LFC fan, depressed as f**k

As good as us? Please!
I love a good local derby, and I like them even better when my team wins them. Add to this your biggest rivals telling anyone who will listen in the weeks leading up to the game that they are on your level, that they are playing better football than you, and that their bench is alot stronger than yours and it makes that sweet taste of victory so sweet it could rot your teeth.

To Tottenham S@#*s, f@#* you! You think your on The Arsenal's level? Please! You havn't won a North London Derby in over 10 years!
You think your playing better football than us? Please! you long ball crap on Saturday was the stuff that would have made Bolton proud! Your shit, and you know you are!
You think your bench is stronger than ours? Please! If your bench was so strong then why didn't you play those players from the begining of the game? They couldn't have been worse than the rubbish you put out for kick off!

You would have thought by now that you'd have learnt your lessons, never ever slag us off! It doesn't work! You are a small London team, you will never be anything else, live with it.

Damm I love beating you!

The race that stops a recession!
A few weeks ago I went down to Ascot for the start of the Spring Racing Carnival. It was coming up to race three and a friend of mine picked her horse – ‘Snug Buggles’. When I asked her why she picked Snug Buggles, she answered with the confidence of a seasoned tipster. Her reason…she went to see the physio that morning, and the physio’s pet dog’s name is, coincidentally, Buggles.

Hmphf! What a crap system I thought to myself.

Snug Buggles went on to win. And I went on to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the day.
We now find ourselves at the Melbourne Cup. As a mad keen punter, I’ve had very limited luck on the Cup. In fact, any luck I did have was used up in its entirety last year when I put a lazy $20 on Viewed at 45-1!
So, who should we be putting our money on? I still haven’t decided!

Traditionally, betting on form is always good. But I’m not talking horses here. Get on Cummings! Viewed has already lined my pockets and I’d be happy to see it happen again! The only issue is that Bart’s chasing his 13th Melbourne Cup – and, from all reports, he’s considers 13 an unlucky number.

And that brings us to superstition. Even the most die-hard punter would have to admit they’ve gone with superstition at least once in their life – lucky numbers, lucky colours and lucky names – it’s part of the tipsters bag of tricks.
Superstition is often superseded by the sentimental favourites. Who'll ever forget Damien Oliver’s winning ride on Media Puzzle; only days after his older brother died tragically in a training accident. My Mum backed him that day ‘cause she said it was ‘just meant to be’. Mum was also on Makybe Diva when she ran home for her third straight win. Come to think of it, who wasn’t on the Diva that day!

Now, how about those pesky international horses that fly into town to spoil our race? Take Delta Blues (and second place runner, Pop Rock) as the perfect example. What the!? Those Japanese types are supposed to make good jockeys, not horses!! Their win added another losing TAB ticket to my Melbourne Cup collection!
Oh, and in case you’re looking for a bit of lady luck on Tuesday – I did ask my Snug Buggles friend for her tip. For what it’s worth, she's got her money on ‘Changingoftheguard’ because...well, she just likes the name. But who really needs a reason on Cup day, right?!

Whatever you put your money on this Tuesday, the number-crunchers down at the TAB reckon a record $1.67billion will be wagered on the 2009 Melbourne Cup! What global financial crisis you say! It's no wonder the Reserve Bank is putting interest rates up on Cup day. Well, that's the hot tip anyway.

No comments:

Post a Comment