Thursday, September 10, 2009

The page that wishes it had both

The finals are now well underway but they seem to have taken the back seat in the media and most of your minds as well. Trento returns to see if he can continue his fine run of tipping, and hopes that Craig at least can line his pockets again. There is an interesting proposal for a special Olympics and a rather disturbing insight into the private life of a twisted individual!

Trent's Top Tips
Well isn't there some pressure on me this week, lucky that God blessed me with the biggest shoulders in the known world and I am able to carry the load. Goodness knows that I have to carry everyone at work day in day out so I'm more than use to it! Anyway enough big noting and onto the tips for this week.

Tip 1 - Pretty straight forward this one, Bulldogs to beat the Knights on Saturday night. Sure they are quite short in the market at the moment, but a win is a win in my book. They are giving 7.5 point start which could be worth a shout as well.

Tip 2 - Adelaide to beat Collingwood in the AFL. Not much of an Aussie Rules man, but I think the Crows are a good thing this weekend.

As ever don't be afraid to multi the 2 tips together to give a greater return. Oh and to Craig, I'm glad that you have been having success with my tips, I just hope your this nice if I start having a bad run!

Wishing for a fall
Anyone else been keeping a bit of an eye on the World Cup qualifiers from around the world? Now I know that Australia has already made it and alot of people have now turned off until next year but there has been plenty of results to keep at least me interested. The main one for me is the current position that the powerhouse that is Argentina find themselves in. Currently 5th they are outside the automatic qualifying spots, and with the team in 6th not far behind. When will people learn that just because you were a good player it doesn't mean that you will make a great coach. Maradonna must have them hitting the Big Macs and snorting a few lines of coke before the games these days. I in fact don't really think he was that good of a player!

Then there is Portugal, if qualifying was to stop right now, they don't go to South Africa. Given my thoughts of Ronaldo this brings a smile to my face actually. But just think, this World Cup could be without arguably the 2 best players in the world in Messi and Ronaldo. I'm one fella hoping that this is the case!

SeƱor I will eat my own shirt if we fail to make the World Cup, and have you seen the size of my shirt?

Give "it" a fair go
Your immediate thoughts when you saw this "female" sprinter the other week were "there is no way that is a woman". I know that in conversations I had with friends we were all pretty confident that she was either on a massive amount of elephant strength drugs or she was born a bloke and had the old snip and shove. This process, so I am told, involves the surgeon "peeling" the dick like a banana then shoving it back up inside. Makes me grab my jewels in terror just thinking about it.

So it was no surprise when reports were leaked that she was in fact born with both male and female reproductive organs. It does however create a more delicate situation than if she was on drugs or made the change herself. I feel sorry for her/him especially now the beast that is the media have sunk their dirty claws into the story. She/He has worked her/his arse off to become a world class athlete and now it seems there is no real class that she can compete in, or is there?

I propose that a special Olympics be held for hermaphrodites. Wouldn't it be great to see Caster Semenya (that's her name in case u were wondering) lining up in the 100m sprint against Lady GAGA, Amelie Mauresmo, Jon Bon jovi and Serena Williams. It would be some sight let me tell you! Then if you threw big Matt Shervington into the mix you would have more meat on thigh action than a butcher!

I guess the thing is if you were to ever tell this Caster Semenya to go f@#* herself, she could. Food for thought really.

I want the ban to cover me as well
When I heard the news this week that jockey's around the country went on strike over the new whipping laws I admit to feeling no sympathy for their case at all. If anything I would like the ban to encompass more than just horses.

You see the lovely Mrs Harmo enjoys a few of the more "taboo" things in the bedroom, and don't get me wrong I know that I am fortunate to have found a woman that is very open minded when it comes to the bedroom. You see Mrs Harmo has a thing for whips, and not just receiving them, but giving them as well. Now when this piece of equipment was first introduced into our bedroom I was all for the excitement of a new toy, but soon it grows tiring, along with my poor arse. I am considering joining the horses union and fighting for the decrease in the use of the whip, especially in the last 200m, cos f@#* me she can give that thing a hammering, and unlike a horse, the more you whip me, the slower I go.

The worst time was when I forgot the safety word, it was like I'd stolen a loaf of bread in the 1800's and been flogged as punishment. Just say pineapple, pineapple.........

The case against
If this ban goes through for the "allowance of whips" in the last 200m it will turn the racing industry into a joke. My major concern is a personal one, if I'm on a horse that is making a move from the back of the field with 200m to go, the last thing I want my jockey worrying about is how many times he has whipped the horse. I want him to flog the f@#*er all the way to the post if it means the horse will win.

This new proposed rule is also going to present the jockey's with another problem. Let's say that they are heading to the post and are neck and neck with a major rival in a massive race. The jockey has a decision, does he use the whip the legal amount of times or does he just say "f@#* it" and hammer the crap out of the thing to get it over the line. The latter option will of course mean that he will be fined and suspended but only a fool will think that the owners wont be "looking after" the said jockey, especially if it was a major win. The new rule has too many flaws.

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