The page that now wants the Sheep AND 3 Lions

So Tiger came down under and did the business. He not only made the cut (that many critics feared he wouldn't), he led for most of the tournament and despite a minor hiccup on day 3 never really looked in much trouble. It was rather good to watch actually, the man is the best there is, and in my opinion the best there ever will be, and I for one hope he will be back soon. Apart from the golf there has been plenty else on, including the qualification by New Zealand for next years World Cup. Well wonders never cease! And to think that they bemoaned us leaving the Oceanic Region, claiming it would only weaken the area. Well guess what guys, if we didn't leave for Asia, you wouldn't be going to South Africa!


King of the Week

Australia won the Four Nations tournament - So what?
New Zealand qualified for the World Cup - And?
Tiger Woods wins one of our major golf championships without much effort, thats a true champion! The laughable thing was he received $3.25M just for turning up and if you noticed the novelty sized cheque he received for winning the tournament you will have noticed that the winner pocketed $270,000. Bloody Hell!


Dick of the Week

During the 80's and early 90's the sporting viewing public grew up with free-to-air coverage and it was all we knew. Then the Pay TV revolution hit and the wonder of a sports dedicated channel hit. No longer were we suffering through ads just before a crucial moment in a game, or an ad break just after a goal or try. We have been spoilt, spoilt to the point that whenever a major sporting event is shown on free-to-air we remember just how bad it was.

The coverage of the golf on Channel 9 was horrible. The footage being shown on Fox Sports and Channel 9 was exactly the same yet they couldn't have been further apart. In the Fox Sports commentary box we had golfers who clearly knew what was going on. Channel 9 had dicks such as Eddie Mcguire and Kenny Sutcliffe, whom both probably love "putting from the rough". On course commentary for Fox Sports was provided by Lucas Parsons, now celebrity Masterchef, but not too long ago a touring professional who provided quality comments. Channel 9 provided Ex-Australian wicketkeeper Ian Healy, who couldn't have done more to make himself sound and look like a dick if he tried.
Long live Pay TV, long live Fox Sports.


Even the sheep are happy
So NZ made it through to the South African World Cup, and I'm happy for them. Especially if it improves our slim hope of hosting a World Cup in the foreseeable future by lifting the profile of the region. But this post isn't about their qualification more about the celebrations. You see, as I was watching the highlights of New Zealand's qualifier I was taken back my the noise the crowd made as they celebrated the goal. The crowd went nuts. It seemed even a sheep or two were shouting with joy. Or maybe I'm just hearing things. Or maybe it was just the Fox Sports crew were having a lend. Have a listen for yourself.
http://www.foxsports.com.au/story/0,8659,26351007-5019291,00.html
Boom


All White on the night
Let me just start by saying that I think that the "All Whites" as a name for a sporting team would have to be up their with the "Bunnies" in terms of lameness. Seriously what is up with that name? Then again I suppose we can't really talk, "Socceroos" is embarrassing, but thats a rant for another day.

I'd just like to express my happiness for the sheep shaggers and their recent qualification for next years World Cup. I didn't catch the game live but when I saw the replays the next morning I have to admit that it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, it took me back to that sweet night in November when we had our own historical night. While those last chance 2 legged knockout games are massive emotional rollercoasters, when the end result goes your way it is sumthing special! Now we are in Asian we will never have that again, hopefully.

So once again "All Whites", congratulations, you have now provided one more whipping boy to the group stages. Lets hope that we now get drawn with both you and England! Now that would be something special!
The Fiddler


The best in the world?
Watching the Australia v Oman game on Sunday morning, yeah yeah I know I'm sad but I'm sure I wasn't the only one, I came to a conclusion. It is my opinion now that Mark Schwarzer is the best goalkeeper in the world. Now I have been a fan of the bag mans for some time now and this is not an opinion I have come to lightly. I think every Australian fell in love with him for those magnificent saves that got us to the World Cup, it wasn't Aloisi's penalty, it was Schwarzer's saves!

Last night against Oman he proved once again how good he is with some fine efforts that kept us in the game and he was the only reason that we were able to then go on and win the game. With him I think Australia can go a long way next year in South Africa, without him I think we are f@#*ed!
Chris


Wish they were all like that
Just a quick one on Ricky Herbert's post match interview after New Zealand made the World Cup. I loved it! It was how interviews should be, it was pure, it was raw and it was honest. He was so caught up in the emotion of it all you could see that he was almost in tears. Quality.

The thing that got me though was he was so caught up he let out a few swear words when describing things, he let out a few f@#*s, but who could blame him! The interviewer didn't even blink though, he just carried on asking questions, then at the end of it I think he wanted to give the coach a massive pash, but instead a massive man hug was all he got.

That's what sport is all about, that kind of emotion is why we love it!

Just a pity they are going to get smashed by whoever they get drawn with!
Harmo


The ‘not sport’ retort
Apologies for being a bit slow on the reply lately, but I just read Skins comments about swimming NOT being a sport. In his words, swimming is more of a ‘life skill’ than a ‘sport’. Geez, if we used that as the basis of what constitutes a sport, we’d have nothing left to bet on. More so, Yeahmatego would be about as popular as Harmo.

Allow me to explain.

Driving a car is a life skill. So by Skins’ definition, do we ignore all forms of motorsport?
Riding a pushbike to school is also one of life’s skills. But does that mean we take cycling out of the Olympics?
I can give my mate a real good dead arm – but who’s gonna tell Tyson that boxing’s not a sport!
Swatting flies in the kitchen takes great skill and reflexes. So do we disregard tennis, squash and badminton while we’re at it?
I’ve contorted my body on a dancefloor! While it’s a fairly unimpressive ‘life skill’, is it reason enough to take away the sporting credentials of rhythmic gymnastics?
How about bending your knees while you lift heavy boxes when you move house – another important life skill. But then suddenly weightlifting is off the sporting calendar as well.
Now, we’ve all run after a bus once or twice…so is it time tell Usain Bolt he’s no longer a sports star!
I’ve also whacked a cane toad with a 5-iron…an essential ‘life skill’ of a Queenslander. But for some reason golf is still on Fox Sports!
And what about pony rides at the Royal Show? Does that mean the ‘sport’ of kings is just a televised novelty?

All I’m asking Skins is that you just think things through before you go making rash statements like swimming NOT being a sport. Geez, next thing you’re gonna to tell me is that walking shouldn’t be a sport either!

One thing that should be a bloody sport though is typing. I’m stuffed!
Gullsy

The page that thinks it sucks that we got Eno instead of Tiger

Well I don't know about you, but I had a very successful weekend. Did I accomplish anything major personally? Well no, but both my teams won on the same weekend which hasn't happened that often this season so I'll take it when I can get it. I for one am looking forward to watching the golf this weekend and I really hope that Tiger rips Kingston Heath apart. I wonder if our great State Premier Rees is watching everything that is happening in Melbourne at the moment and if he realises what a f@#* up it was not to try and get Tiger up here for the Australian Open. This would have to go down as one of the worst sporting related decisions in our states history!


King of the Week

People couldn't understand how Tiger Woods could be worth $3 million just to turn up and play in the tournament. Well a full sell out on all days, including the practice round, which is unheard of even in the USA, pretty much proves the Victorian State government right. Congratulations to Victorian Premier John Brumby, if only we had a Premier with half a brain, but then again if we had that maybe we would have better roads, better transit, better hospitals, better...............


Dick of the Week

Sorry Brett, but even if you "want" to play for the Australian Test team again, they don't actually need you any more because, well your actually a bit shit now! Just let it go man, please realise that you body can't do what it could 5 years ago and go out with a bit of class. I mean you have always got your Bollywood career to fall back on!


Him? Really?
I hop online this morning and do my regular sports page browse before I start smashing the keyboard for the man and I get the shock of my life. I'm on Fox Sports and I had to refresh the page several time just to check if it was a mistake or something, nope still there. Next I find a calender and check the date, nope it's not April Fool's Day either. Was the world coming to an end? I can hear you now, "what is this guy on about?", well I'll let you know what has me confused and shocked!

Alex Brosque has been selected in the Australian squad for the upcoming Asian Cup qualifier, and yes, I'm serious! I was in shock as well!

Let me begin by saying that I think Brosque is perhaps the worst player currently playing in the A-League. If he isn't the worst, he is easily inside the top 5. Lets not pretty it up, the guy is absolute rubbish! I mean he isn't even the best player at Sydney, let alone the A-League. His playing partner up front at Sydney at the moment deserves to be called up way before this wank.

I am wondering if this is like back in the days of juniors when every team has that 1 kid that is just pathetic, but he is in the team so the club can feel good about themselves for giving a retard a fair go. Has Pim Verbeek been told by the FFA that he needs to be seen giving equal opportunities to the minority groups and thats why this spastic has been given a chance? Bloody hell!

There is one positive that comes out of this, It makes you believe that maybe you still have a chance to make the team yourself, I mean I may be the wrong side of 30, a bit overweight and have no left foot, but if Brosque can get a run, then you just never know. You have my number Pim!
Harmo


Shorter, but the same point
Brosque? You can not be f@#*in serious!
Dave


Life and times
Being a Liverpool supporter at the moment is like you are on one hell of a roller coaster. One minute you are plummeting towards what feels like the depths of hell at such a pace that you can feel your own balls in your throat and all you want to do is spew. Then within seconds you have been jerked upwards with such a force that the balls that were just moments ago in the back of your throat, are now hanging around ur knees (see victory against Man Utd). Then the ride upwards starts to slow down a bit, and you know in the back of you mind that it can only end badly, but your heart is telling you "it's ok, we are going to keep going up, all the way to the top", but damm that Newton and his laws of physics! This time the ride back down is twice as bad as the as the first one and you know deep down that the bottom is a long way off.

I really shouldn't be cheering a 2 all draw with Birmingham so much........but I did anyway!

"You will never walk alone"
Smithy


Points of view
After the Chelski v Man Utd game on Monday morning I was left with a very bitter taste in my mouth and my hatred for those wankers in blue increased. I just had a few points I need to get off my chest.

1- Drogba is a f@#*in cheat! No doubt he has quality but the guy is and always will be a cheat. For one of the more physically styled players in the world the man goes down like a sack of shit at the slightest touch. The incident in the 2nd half with Evans is a prime example. Sure Evans got him with a quality Kung Fu kick to the chest and was lucky to get away with it but Drogba's reaction afterwards was like he had taken a spear to the chest and was drawing his final breath. Cue 1 minute later and he gets a bizzare yellow card for the incident and suddenly he has recovered enough to smash the ref with abuse, wanker.

2- The free kick that led to the goal was a home team free kick if ever I've seen one! Never in a million years a foul.

3- Speaking of fouls, how about the foul on old Wes "baked bean head" Brown in the box, effectively taking him out of the way of the ball that ends up in the back of the net? Nothing! And who takes Brown down? Drogba!

4- I f@#*in hate the fact that Lampard runs away celebrating that goal like he was the reason it went in, you had nothing to do with it you fat f@#*!

5- United can not win the league playing Carrick, Fletcher AND Anderson at the same time, they are all rubbish!

Bitter....yes.
Craig


Not surprised
So Ferguson basically calls the ref from the Chelsea v United game a cheat and looks like he will get away with, why am i not surprised!?

This guy could call the Queen of England a slut and he wouldn't even be called to apologise!
The Fiddler

The page that would rather sink than swim

Well another week has passed us by on our run in to Christmas and I for one am looking forward to the weekend. I'll be sure to follow Trento's tips this weekend after I backed "Headway" last weekend and got a very healthy $15 return, cheers bigman. There will be plenty of sport to wet the appetite over the next few days with quite a few Australian teams running out, oh and the Wallabies have a chance to prove they are not entirely crap as well!


Trent's Top Tips
So the Cup has come and gone, and you may be wondering why there wasn't a special Cup tip from yours truly? Well you see I have a saying about the Spring Carnival "Derby Day is for the purists, Melbourne Cup day is for the mugs, and Thursday is for Trent! Anyone who knows anything about horse racing will tell you how hard it is to back a winner on Cup day, and that why I steer clear.

Just before I get to my Top Tips I would just like to bring up a sore point that has been with me for a while now in regards to this blog. You see the King of the Week award was handed out to one Bart Cummings a few weeks ago, and while I hold nothing against the great man, it was the statistics below his pic that had me up in arms. You see there is a name missing off that list, one that should actually have been at the top, ahead of Cummings. A certain T.J. Smith, who in his career racked up alittle over 270 "Group 1" winners, just a minor oversight I know, but the man is my hero! Anyway onto the tips.

Tip 1 - Flemington - Race 5 - Patinack Farm Classic, Number 6 "Mic Mac" straight out people

Tip 2 - Flemington - Race 6 - Emirates Stakes, Number 1 "Black Piranha" eachway bet of the day!
Trento


Really?
Is that shit about Aggasi for real? The dude really wore not just a toupee as he likes to call it, but a whole skinned Yak on his head for nearly a decade? Bloody hell talk about vanity. Next you'll be telling me that Burt Newton's hair isn't real..............
Steveo


Is it just me?
November, the time of year that makes everyone believe that they are a sudden expert on something that is as likely to pick as lotto, The Melbourne Cup. in the face of expected criticism I am going to put my hand up and say that I don't like "the Cup". Call me unAustralian if you like, it doesn't bother me. I also willing to admit that I don't even have a bet on the race, and havn't for some years now. We really should just rename it the "Bogan Cup" and get it over and done with. Did you ever watch the movie "Kenny"? Those scenes where he is at the track on race day? Thats whats wrong with the Cup, to many bogans with no idea what they are doing.

I think this is where my real dislike for the day stems from. As a regular punter, who likes to think they know a thing or two about horse racing I find nothing more irritating than just after the big race finishes and your horse is still running, a once a year punter turns to his mates and says "yeehaa, I got it, $500 bucks baby" and if he is honest he probably only picked that horse cos they jockey was wearing the same colour silks as his boyfriends underpants!

I know some of you will say thats the beauty of the Melbourne Cup and blah blah blah, but I don't buy it. More often than not the horses that should win it, don't, Makybe Diva excepted.

I know most of you wont agree, but I'd rather the Golden Slipper or the Coxs Plate any day!
Craig


Not bad hey?
So the Aussie cricket team is doing quite well on their tour of India even with all the injuries they seem to be getting. We all thought they were just being little girls when they were complaining about the fixture list, but maybe they have a point. However thats not the point of this mail, I really just wanted to make a quick point in regards to Tendulka. The man quite simply is a legend! Every time you think he looks like he is getting a bit past it he comes out and proves you wrong. the 175 he scored, in a losing team mind you, was simply superb! My hat is off to you "Little Mystro"
Phillips


It is not a sport
I heard recently about a study that they did about kids and the sports that they were involved in. This report came back with swimming on top, followed by Football(soccer) and then AFL. I may have mentioned before my thoughts towards swimming and it being regarded as a "sport", but i'll bring them up again.

Swimming is NOT a sport. Plain and simple swimming is something that we in Australia see as a necessity of life, something that our culture requires as a life skill. From a very early age children in the country are sent off to swim school to teach them a life skill, can u imagine if kids were sent, at the age of 1, to football classes?

This hatred of my towards swimming goes further, all the way to how swimming is only shown so much respect in this country, not because of it's entertainment value, but rather because we actually win medals and no other reason. I mean have you actually ever tried to watch on of those televised meets? F238 me they are boring! But that is another rant altogether.
Skins


You have to see this
I can't believe this hasn't been mentioned on Yeahmatego yet! If you havn't seen the two dudes who invaded the pitch during the Barnsley v Man Utd Carling Cup game, do yourself a favour and use the link below, hilarious! Maybe even funnier than the 2 guys is the complete lack of ground security!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MfO_ZEyRvU&feature=related
Harmo

The page that would like to admit it wears a rug

I hope everyone has had a good Melbourne Cup day and had a little bit better luck than I did. I was on the old fella, Master O'Reilly, and I think the extra kilos any horse I back carries was a bit too much for him, pity they don't pay out on 4th! Through the fear of turning this post into a Liverpool-a-thon I have only posted a few of your rants, I mean who really wants to hear another crying Liverpool fan!


King of the Week

Agassi recently admitted to taking crystal methamphetamine once during the 90's, something that caused him to spend the next few hours cleaning his house, but that isn't enough for him to be crowned the King, no for that you need somrthing special. And thats what he gave us days later with the revelation that he wore a wig during the 90's. Even going as far to blame the wig for his loss in the French Open final in 1990. If only the thing had fallen off!

"I asked myself: you want to wear a toupee? On the tennis court? I answered myself; what else could I do?"


Dick of the Week

Is this the worst Wallabies team ever? It is hard to think of a team so poor that currently pulls on the Green and Gold of Australia!


A Letter to Man United, Chelsea and Arsenal Supporters of the English Premier League
On behalf of long suffering Liverpool supporters, I hereby apologise to all rival supporters for wasting your time. As a quarter of the season has passed, it is clearly evident that we are not worthy of competing with you (or a beach ball) for the Premier League title. From the performances given, it appears the team are quite tired of being one of the ‘Big Four’ and are quite content to slide into the mid-table wilderness.

In addition, I would like to thank Manchester United for their generosity by allowing us the defeat you at Anfield last weekend. It was greatly appreciated by all of us during this difficult time in our history.

Once again, please accept my apologies on behalf of all Reds supporters for our naivety in thinking that we had a football side that could compete with far superior opposition such as the above-mentioned teams that you support.

Kind Regards,
The Dazzler


Fact
So in all competitions this season, Liverpool have played 16, won 8, lost 8.
That is all.
O'Meara, LFC fan, depressed as f**k


As good as us? Please!
I love a good local derby, and I like them even better when my team wins them. Add to this your biggest rivals telling anyone who will listen in the weeks leading up to the game that they are on your level, that they are playing better football than you, and that their bench is alot stronger than yours and it makes that sweet taste of victory so sweet it could rot your teeth.

To Tottenham S@#*s, f@#* you! You think your on The Arsenal's level? Please! You havn't won a North London Derby in over 10 years!
You think your playing better football than us? Please! you long ball crap on Saturday was the stuff that would have made Bolton proud! Your shit, and you know you are!
You think your bench is stronger than ours? Please! If your bench was so strong then why didn't you play those players from the begining of the game? They couldn't have been worse than the rubbish you put out for kick off!

You would have thought by now that you'd have learnt your lessons, never ever slag us off! It doesn't work! You are a small London team, you will never be anything else, live with it.

Damm I love beating you!
Skins


The race that stops a recession!
A few weeks ago I went down to Ascot for the start of the Spring Racing Carnival. It was coming up to race three and a friend of mine picked her horse – ‘Snug Buggles’. When I asked her why she picked Snug Buggles, she answered with the confidence of a seasoned tipster. Her reason…she went to see the physio that morning, and the physio’s pet dog’s name is, coincidentally, Buggles.

Hmphf! What a crap system I thought to myself.

Snug Buggles went on to win. And I went on to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the day.
We now find ourselves at the Melbourne Cup. As a mad keen punter, I’ve had very limited luck on the Cup. In fact, any luck I did have was used up in its entirety last year when I put a lazy $20 on Viewed at 45-1!
So, who should we be putting our money on? I still haven’t decided!

Traditionally, betting on form is always good. But I’m not talking horses here. Get on Cummings! Viewed has already lined my pockets and I’d be happy to see it happen again! The only issue is that Bart’s chasing his 13th Melbourne Cup – and, from all reports, he’s considers 13 an unlucky number.

And that brings us to superstition. Even the most die-hard punter would have to admit they’ve gone with superstition at least once in their life – lucky numbers, lucky colours and lucky names – it’s part of the tipsters bag of tricks.
Superstition is often superseded by the sentimental favourites. Who'll ever forget Damien Oliver’s winning ride on Media Puzzle; only days after his older brother died tragically in a training accident. My Mum backed him that day ‘cause she said it was ‘just meant to be’. Mum was also on Makybe Diva when she ran home for her third straight win. Come to think of it, who wasn’t on the Diva that day!

Now, how about those pesky international horses that fly into town to spoil our race? Take Delta Blues (and second place runner, Pop Rock) as the perfect example. What the!? Those Japanese types are supposed to make good jockeys, not horses!! Their win added another losing TAB ticket to my Melbourne Cup collection!
Oh, and in case you’re looking for a bit of lady luck on Tuesday – I did ask my Snug Buggles friend for her tip. For what it’s worth, she's got her money on ‘Changingoftheguard’ because...well, she just likes the name. But who really needs a reason on Cup day, right?!

Whatever you put your money on this Tuesday, the number-crunchers down at the TAB reckon a record $1.67billion will be wagered on the 2009 Melbourne Cup! What global financial crisis you say! It's no wonder the Reserve Bank is putting interest rates up on Cup day. Well, that's the hot tip anyway.
Gullsy

The page that is late, but worth it

Yes it is late this week, and for that I am sorry, but sometimes in life other things just take priority! Anyway onto the blog. Trent gives us his views on the racing at Flemington, a couple of ladies give us their views on sports fashions and there isn't much love for baseball.


Trent's Top Tips
Mr. 50% is back people! So last week I decided to return to a familiar stomping ground, Rugby League, to pull myself back, and it worked. However this week I have decided to head back to the track, I mean it is the Spring Carnival after all.

Flemington - Race 4 - Coolmore Stud Stakes - "Headway" Each Way
Flemington - Race 6 - Victoria Derby - "Viking Legend" Each Way
Flemington - Race 9 - Aami Insurance Stakes - "Fist of Fury" Each Way

All three of the above horses offer great value and have a proven track record.
Trento


Footballers fashion faux pas
White football shorts. Nylon. Coloured undies. Grass stains. Amateurs. Are you visualising this? We would like to know why a bunch of grown men think it’s ok to run around in little white shorts. Our nightmares began on a sunny day whilst taking in a game, when, to our horror, We were confronted with a player adjusting his animal print package, thinly covered by a pair of said shorts.

Although it is impossible, we’d like to pass on a few tips for looking your best in these horrideous white shorts:
Tip number one: Purchase yourself a pair of white briefs for game days.
Tip number two: Keep your shorts clean – try Napisan.
Tip number three: Never EVER think it’s ok, hot, sexy, cool or smokin’ to wear animal print underwear. Your teammates will not respect you and nor will the ladies.
Footballers Wives


Is it worth it?
With all this talk about how hot the woman are that professional athletes can pull, it got me wondering, is it really worth it in the end? Now bare with me, I know it mat sound strange but I have a couple of examples that can help me prove my point.

Lets start with Roger Federer, probably the greatest tennis player to ever play the game. Now according to Gullsy theory he could have any woman that he wanted. He is the best player in the world in his sport, he has money coming out his ringhole, he is living the high life, and his woman of choice? A lady he has been with from before he even won his first tournament. Now he could have ditched her once all the money and fame started, but he didn't, he has stuck with her, and while some of you seem to think that she isn't much chop there are obviously reasons as to why he has stayed with her.

Look at what this stability has done for his career, the bloke has won more majors than anyone else in history, that has to count for something. Now sure he could be living a life of sex drugs and rock & roll but will history remember him? Doubt it!

Then we move on to the golfing sensation that was Adam Scott. It wasn't that long ago when Scott was being touted as the man to knock Tiger Woods off the top of the world rankings. But alas he is now just a little bit shit. So where did it all go wrong? It is no coincidence that his form slump started around the same time that his relationship with tennis star Anna Ivanovic started. Part of me says "can you blame him, who wouldn't rather be in bed with her than on the golf course", but I think that I would honestly have golf at the top of my priorities over her.

In sport, if your lucky enough to play at the elite level, your career is a mere flash in the pan in terms of time. You have been given an opportunity to make your mark and I just feel that to waste it like some professional athletes do is a shame. If they don't want it, then step aside and give one of the millions who would kill for the opportunity a chance!
The Fiddler


No it is not
You have to love the Yanks, I mean they have that huge deluded belief that they are the centre of the universe. Take that spastic game of baseball for example, how is it that they feel they have the right to call the final series of a sport that barely anyone else plays a "World Series". The arrogance of it all. I mean the game is so boring it makes cricket look like an action blockbuster movie!

Well guess what Americans, you aren't the centre of the universe, nobody gives a flying f@#* about baseball and it is NOT the World Series!
Cracko


What an offer
Did anyone else hear that report about the woman in the US that got done for offering sex for baseball world series tickets? Knowing how crap baseball is, if I had them I reckon I would have been interested, but I'd have to see a picture first....mmm on second thoughts I wouldn't, I take the deal. Baseball is that shit it wouldn't matter what she looked like!
Steveo

The page that will be riding Cummings all the way

I think that I proved with my Cox Plate tips on Friday that I'm not going to be taking Trento's position as the resident tipster any time soon. Who would have thought that old Bart would rack up another win, well really the question is why I didn't just go with anything and everything he trains, like I will be doing in next weeks Melbourne Cup! Due to computer issues the pictures below are without their crown and dunce cap, I promise they will sent out to their respective winners as soon as the issues are sorted out!


King of the Week

Well it really couldn't be anyone else, and I think his record speaks for itself!

Trainer: Group One Winners (as of 26/10/09)
Bart Cummings 256
Lee Freedman 123
John Hawkes 96
Gai Waterhouse 93
Jack Denham 59

12 Melbourne Cups
1965, 1966, 1967, 1974, 1975, 1977, 1979, 1990, 1991, 1996, 1999, 2008
7 Caulfield Cups
1966, 1969, 1974, 1977, 1980, 1991, 2009
4 Cox Plates
1973, 1996, 1997, 2009
13 Australian Cups
1968, 1973, 1975, 1976, 1977, 1978, 1980, 1981, 1985, 1992, 1996, 1998, 2008

The list goes on, it is a rediculously impressive record!


Dick of the Week

All season undefeated hey? Only one team can ever have that record, the mighty Arsenal. Undefeated, please!


Overreaction
On Thursday I was sitting at my computer reading through all the Liverpool news (which is how I spend most work hours), getting myself all depressed and i thought I'd write in and express my views on the way that Liverpool's season is heading. I had pretty much finished the rant and sat back to read through it. With Man Utd coming up on the weekend I wasn't feeling very optimistic truth be told. News was that we would be missing both Gerrard and Torres had me on suicide watch, I didn't have a good feeling about the coming game, let alone the season.

Then, after a few deep breathes and my co-workers comforting me out of the corner where I was rocking like a baby in the fetal position I took the time to reflect on what I wrote.

You see the problem that we Pool fans suffer from is that we are very quick to jump to conclusions and easily over react. Such as the classic "This is our year" line that you all love to throw in our face when, as it has for the past 20 years comes back to bite us on the balls. So on Friday I thought that I would buck the trend and wait until after the weekend to pass my judgement on the season, so I deleted everything that I wrote. And boy am I glad that I did!

We are back baby! This is our year! Oh wait a minute.......
Fitzy


Hold the phone
Sure the win against United was good, sure it will give us some much needed momentum and sure it is always nice to get 1 up on those smug Manchester pricks but lets not go overboard. The Pool are still in real trouble. The sooner that we admit that the rest of the footballing world are right, that we are just a 2 man team, the better. If Torres didn't play on Sunday, we don't win, simple as that. With Gerrard out our midfield looks a shambles. We are playing players way out of their depths who would look out of place even in the A-League. If we manage to finish in the Top 4 it will be a minor miracle, one that would need for the teams above us have have a slump of biblical proportions, rather than us playing well. I just can't see us finishing higher than 6th, I really can't.

So yes, the win was great, but it doesn't change much in the long run.
Glen


Really?
So your going to go through the entire season undefeated are you Gold Coast? Like f@#* you are! hahahahaha
Cracko


Well actually
Hey just to correct you gullsy on your last post that hot blonde girlfriend of Casey Stoner is actually his wife but yeah you're right he is doing extremely well for himself. Lucky bugger all that and he is only about 23.
Nath


I actually like you dude
Now Gullsy while the two of us have never met, and we both obviously love to tell a story, i think we actually have alot in common. Apart from the fact that you love to attack me, I actually like you, well at least your points of view anyway. I don't like you in that holding hands, we are life partners way.

Take your "little" rant on the woman that elite sportsmen can pull, I actually agree with most of the points you bring up. Now without trying to offend the thousands of women that read this fine blog, we all know that women love money, and while they may never admit it, they find it the most attractive thing about a man. Goodness knows it can be the only reason that Mrs Harmo is with me, it can't be my good looks or ability in the sack!

So men of the world don't despair, those beefcakes of the sporting world are not better than you, they just have way more money than you ever will.

Now the AFL players of the world I can understand to a degree why they get the hottest chicks, I mean look at them, these guys are cut! I mean you could grate cheese on their abs for christs sake. And of all the football codes they seem to have the most brains, Fevola excepted.

When you look at those NRL players though, they are the one's that make you go "seriously, what has he got that I don't?". It's the money, and thats it, I mean these guys are dumb as post, yet pull the hot birds. However have you ever tried to have a conversation with your average Thugby League player? Good luck getting more than grunts out of him, then if you notice the women that go after them a light will go off. These bitches are as dumb, if not dumber, than them! A perfect match really. So don't despair lads, you are not missing out on anything, other than mind blowing sex of course! But whats that over conversation?
Harmo

The page that hasn't gone to the dogs

Well it looks like we have someone after Dazzler's title of the longest rant here on Yeahmatego. Gullsy, who is getting quite the taste for expressing his opinions, has sent in an absolute cracker. It is on the long side, but I would have to say it is probably the funniest thing that has been posted on this blog. He is still to produce the infamous picture of the European models though! Trento is under the pump a little bit this weekend with his tips, but assures me that last week was just a minor blip and he will be back in the winners circle sooner rather than later. For what it's worth I think that "Heart of Dreams" will win the Cox's Plate with "Vision and Power my roughie.


Trent's Top Tips
So last week wasn't my finest performance on the punt, I'm can be a man about it, I'll put my hands up. I'm also the first to get back on the proverbial horse and have another crack.

Some questions were raised during the week to my relationship to the 3 dogs that I tipped at Richmond on Friday night, now while I am not willing to reveal my exact relationship to the trainer of the said dogs I will let it be known that if that old prick doesn't load the dogs into the boxes better next time then I wont be doing him any favours around the house in the coming weeks! Anyway, onto the tips.

Tip 1 - I like the French with the 38 1/2 start to beat the English in the Rugby League 4 nations

Tip 2 - The Aussie will smash the Kiwis, forget the World Cup last year. Give the 17 1/2 start to those sheep shaggers and get in the queue to collect my friends!
Trento


You don't always get what you deserve
I was watching the Jets v Victory game last weekend, not because I support either team, more because I am just a fan of Football itself and it was a game that brought up beautiful thing about sport in general. The best team on the day does not always win!

The Jets are in my opinion playing the best football in the A-League at the moment, and I'm a Sydney fan. However if you look at the table, what good it is doing them? They are sitting near last without a win in their last 4 games or so. It is one of those wonderful things about sport that a team can dominate their opponents for large portions of a game but still be beaten. It is this little quirk that gives the fans of the lesser teams a little ray of hope when coming up against the "big boys" that maybe, just maybe they can sneak a win. It is why we love sport so much, why we keep coming back even when our team is shit!

I mean look at that FA Cup Final a few years ago, Man Utd v Arsenal. United dominated for 90 minutes of normal play, then 30 minutes of extra time, doing everything but scoring. The game goes to penalties, Arsenal win. Did they deserve to win, no way, but they did. It is in these moments that it can be painful to be a fan, but think how the Arsenal fans felt, they couldn't give a f@#* who were the better team, they won the trophy!

It may hurt to be beaten when your the better team, but you know what, You'll be back next week, cheering on your team, just in case they nick that 93rd minute winner!
The Fiddler


A ladies point of view
Apparently Harmo is a real hard F@#*er. Whatever. A man who proudly says bitches go to the bar, is and always will be - a wanker. Because I doubt any so called women, would touch that with a 10 foot pole! So keep dreaming mate, and control your language.
I'm on team Gullsy!
Denise


Sports stars or porn stars?
Casey Stoner – what a champ! He wins the Phillip Island MotoGP and then celebrates by pashing his hot blonde girlfriend. Seeing shit like that makes me wish I rode my BMX bike faster when Mum sent me to the shops.

Think about it…with Stoner’s choice of hot shagging partners, it’s no wonder the poor bastard took time off with chronic fatigue syndrome. And then his sponsor - Marlboro – gets all jealous and demands he apologise for his absence. Marlboro should be thanking this young fella. Do they know how many post-coital cigarettes this guy has been responsible for? He’s probably making Marlboro more money riding hot chicks, than he does riding a f#*kin’ motorbike.

Which got me thinking…what sportsmen get the hottest chicks? You know what I mean…f*#k the Gatorade training lab that’s running tests for dehydration, let’s find out what sport will get us the hottest chick, and more importantly, why!

Firstly, we’ll take a closer look at motorsports. I hate motorsports, but I love the sort of behaviour it encourages? I went to the Gold Coast Indy and saw more chicks pulling their tits out than F1 drivers pulling into pit lane. But you know what? These chicks aren’t what you’d call ‘quality’. You wouldn’t really take one of these girls home to meet your parents unless your Mum was the President of the Banditos. Imagine the introduction… “Hi Mum, Dad…this is Sharon. Sharon this is…Oh, for f*#k’s sake Sharon…put ‘em away!”

If you want to step up the quality a little, you’ve got to turn to two wheels – MotorX. These chicks are the bikini pin-up babes that give Zoo Weekly’s editors 24-hour hard-ons! And these chicks love the bad boys. If you’ve got tatts, you get the tits! Now, I’m all up for f*#king a Zoo Weekly cover girl – especially the ones who list their favourite past-time as ‘going down on my girlfriends’. But I’ll tell you one thing readers…I’m not getting a full-sleeve tattoo of a pot-smoking green dragon just to do it. Who am I kidding? I don’t even know how to ride a motorbike. European-styled Vespers just don’t cut it when you’re up against Aussie madman, Robbie Maddison, jumping Europe’s biggest icons!

Instead, let’s look at sports that us Aussies are supposed to be good at. Like cricket. I’ve never seen Boonie’s wife or Merv’s best root – but I’m not holding out much hope. The uglier you are, and more beer you drink, the better you seem to be at playing cricket. Unlike the bunch of pretty boy, soft cocks we’ve got in the squad today. What does Lara Bingle see in the bleached hair, diamond earrings, and red Ferraris? The poor girl has to sit through five days of shithouse cricket before the Pup will even look at her puppies! Lara, Lara, Lara – why, oh why do you want the attention of a guy who has a smoother box than yours?

Speaking of fascinating conundrums, I didn’t think the NBL would rear its f*#king ugly head again! Seriously, I reckon the chicks who chase NBL dudes just aren’t pretty enough to date a proper sports star. And why would you date a basketballer…it can’t be for the money! I earn twice as much as your average NBL dude – but that aint enough to get me no cheerleader girlfriend! But then again…I don’t wear a size 17 shoe!

Now for those A-League dudes. They’re not really up there with the European football players are they? Let’s just put them in some sort of sporting perspective. It’s like if I was to walk into a bar with a Yeahmatego reader. For argument’s sake, lets say it was Harmo. Now, I’m a Real Madrid striker, and Harmo’s the right-back for NQ Fury. The result…I get the hot chick, the hot bar girl and the hot podium dancer; Harmo gets knocked back by their fat friends. Point proven.

So let me finish with what I believe is the pinnacle of sports magnetism in Australia – the AFL. These blokes just have to smell like they’ve been in the same locker-room as Ablett and they’ll be shagging their choice of hot chicks. In fact, women seem to want these guys so bad that they’ll even shag their husband’s teammate in the toilets! The thing is, these girls all want to be the ‘Cindarellas’ at the Brownlow Ball. It’s a fairytale for them…until, of course, the ugly stepsister Fevolva starts humping their leg in the foyer of the Crown Casino.

Well…I was trying to sneak out of this article without having to mention it, but yes, here I go. The NRL. Seriously, why do chicks even bother with these Neanderthals? If the only thing these girls want is a gang-bang and some media attention – I know a bunch of guys who read Yeahmatego and own a digital camera!

I could go on and on, but it’s time this sports analysis came to some sort of intelligent conclusion. So I’ll finish with a question to all the Dads who want their sons to be sports stars…

Do you give your son a tennis racquet, hope he wins millions – and then hope twice as hard he doesn’t end up with wife as ugly as Federer’s? Or do you throw him on a motorbike, divorce your wife and then spend your mid-life crisis picking up his scraps?
Hmmmm…sometimes when we delve into the important sporting issues, we just end up with more questions than answers. Until next time…
Gullsy