Friday, October 16, 2009

The page that will be on them this time!

It's that classic story, man gives out a great long shot tip, mate puts money on said horse, and it wins. Mate picks up big win, tipper doesn't even get on himself. Well lessons are there to be learned, but I doubt poor old Trento will ever learn! Gullsy is back for the 2nd time this week to entertain us, the models must have gone home! This pre weekend edition also heralds the arrival of our first true overseas contributor, he took the bait people!

Trent's Top Tips
Was it ever really in doubt? I had a minor hiccup the week before last, giving both winners but getting the margin wrong. There were calls for my head, the vultures were circling above me, looking for any sign of weakness, then.......BANG! Conquering Queen does the business and romps home at $21! Well done to Brett, glad you had a nice win, as for me....I wasn't even on it! How good am I, but let it be know I have a habit of stopping a fright train, so if I'm on it, add another 50kgs!
Anyway onto this weeks specials!

Tip 1 - Tonight at Richmond there are 3 extra special dogs running that I feel can't be over looked as an eachway bet.
Race 2 - No.3 Raw Character
Race 7 - No.2 Xena's Character
Race 9 - No.6 Xena's Shadow
Trust me!

Tip 2 - Caulfield tomorrow Race 2 - No.4 Weasley. In honor of my bestest buddy in the whole world!

Getting too far ahead?
England? pfft the way we played in the last 2 games we would seriously struggle to beat the Cook Islands the way we have been playing. So before we get too carried away and start thinking we can beat anyone put in front of us, lets sort out our own game first. If you think that the team is in good shape you clearly have no idea about football. The crap we have been producing might snatch a draw against an understrength European team, but the Asians eat that negative defensive shit up! Thats the thing about world football, every continent seems to have their own unique style, and its the team that can best adapt to playing against those different style that will win this World Cup, or you can just cheat like the f@#*ing Italians!

From across the globe
Every now and then you come across something a little bit special on this wonderful internet thing, something that excites you, then you leave that porn site after a couple of minutes and continue on your journey looking at your other love, sports. Somehow this week I found myself on this "yeahmatego" site and I must say i'm a wee bit impressed. Coming from the Motherland, the Home of the Ashes if you will, I tend to get a wee bit bored with the rubbish that you get dished up over here so i'm always interested in whats happening in other countries.

So I began to read all the posts with some interest, there seems to be some characters on here with interesting points of view. My eyes lit up though when I came across the posts in regards to the coming World Cup. Do you Aussies really want to draw the might of England? Really? I mean I have to admit to not seeing much of your national team in recent months but come on, you honestly think the Three Lions will be easy beats?

As for the Ashes, don't worry about them, we are keeping them safe!

You want England? I want you convicts, teach you a footballing lesson!
Dave, London

Holman didn't play, and we won......coincidence?

NBL is da shit!
I’ve had something on my mind. In fact, I’ve spent a lot of sleepless nights contemplating whether it’s the right time to bring this up with you. You know that stage in a relationship…when you’re wondering if it’s too early to tell your girlfriend you’ve been fantasising about a threesome with her and her mum?


Well…fortunately, it’s not about that! What I really wanted to tell you guys (and any of you girls with hot mums) is this…I think I have feelings for the NBL. Yep, there you go, I’ve said it!

Yeah, yeah, I hear what you’re saying…basketball is ‘Yank-Wank’ at its best (or worst). And our NBL doesn’t have the big black superstars like Shaq, Jordan and Magic. Instead, one of our all-time greats is a grey-haired stickman called Gaze. And he probably only ever made the team ‘cause his Dad was the coach.

But give me a chance. Let’s just take a look at what the NBL has to offer…

#1 Cheerleaders!
F*#k yeah! The NBL is one of the only sports in Australia where the male spectators eagerly await a time-out. It’s like being at a strip club with 5,000 mates. Well, actually, it’s like being at a strip club when you’ve run out of money and the girls won’t get their kit off. I guess if cheerleaders aren’t taking it off, it makes them pretty shit!

#2 Non-Stop Scoring!
Apart from 20Twenty cricket, I don’t know of any sport where the scoreboard ticks over so fast. The only thing that ticks over more often in basketball is the f*#kin’ foul count. It’s worse than the EPL the way these fouls are given out. Now, that’s pretty shit as well.

#3 Value-for-Money!
Football gets about 3-minutes injury time per half. AFL…at least five minutes a quarter. But with basketball, you get four 12-minute quarters that last in excess of two-hours. Come to think of it, in no other sport can the final 3-seconds of a game last so f*#king long. Seriously dudes, the game is over! Stop the f*#kin’ fouling and let me get to the strippers! When you look at it like that, ‘value-for-money’ can make a game shit.

#4 Reforming Gang Members!
When it comes to recruiting real basketball talent, the Bronx seems to be America’s version of the AIS! Why do you think you get ghetto tunes playing throughout the game? And when you wear your ‘colours’ to the basketball, you had better be packing heat dude! C’mon, seriously, I’d love to be in a gang as much as any other inadequate male, but when you’re a white dude all that carry-on can be a bit shit.

Well…I think I’ll stop there.

The NBL isn’t really that f#*kin’ good is it? I don’t even know why I liked the game to begin with! Probably those corporate boxes I always get invited to! I’m actually feeling a little embarrassed that I shared this with you on such a respected sporting site like Yeahmatego. Come to think of it – Yeahmatego probably wasn’t the right forum to bring up the ‘mother-daughter’ fantasy either…

Well, as therapeutic as all that was, it looks like we’ really are just stuck with one long summer of f*#kin’ crap cricket! What else is there to possibly do?

Hang on…

“Hey babe, it’s Gullsy here. Wanna go out for a drink? And while you’re at it, bring your Mum too…!”

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