Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The page missing a crap Storm headline

So a Storm came through Sydney hey? You just have to love those crappy lines that get pulled out by the papers when they are trying to one up their rivals in terms of headlines. Gullsy is in again today to entertain us with his abstract outlook on the sporting world, he is starting to make a habit of it, and the punters love it. The Dazzler has pumped out a essay on the Grand Final and wants everyone to know that he predicted the Storm by 7. Wonder if he put any money on it? How bout the Arse just quietly? Six goals and they never got out of 3rd gear, it could be our year........oh wait that is someone else's line!

King of the Week

Well it sort of had to be the Storm. Four Grand Finals, two wins, not a bad return, and you would be a brave man to bet against them not adding to that tally. Sorry about the pic, but personally I would rather look at the cheer girls than the players!

Dick of the Week

Anyone that is stupid enough to stick their finger up at the opposition crowd in this day and age of cameras everywhere is a worthy winner of this award. Added to the fact that Tiatto is one of the biggest twats to every play the game, this guy has even played for Australia! Oh the shame!

He will do
Please don't get me wrong, Billy Slater is a great player, and even though I don't support the Storm I quite enjoy watching him in full flight. This point aside, how the f@#* did he win the best on ground award on Sunday? Seriously, he was good, but so far from the best player it was embarrassing, I mean you could even tell from the interviews with him he thought it was a joke.

Now they were never going to give it to an Eels player, they just don't seem to do it, they take the easy option, but Slater? really? Do the guys that vote on this thing just get towards the end of the game and go "shit, I havnt really been paying attention, ummmmm, whos a big name? Slater? yeah he will do". I know Inglis bashes women, but he wasn't half bad, and Cronk was decent as well, if only they had the balls to give it to Moi Moi!

They are right you know
At the start of every season all you can hear from Liverpool fans is "This is our year". Well I have to agree with them this year, I this might actually be "their year". I think its going to be their year to drop out of the Top 4!
Darren....not Dazzler

Real Fan Research
Harmo. I’m a little taken aback that you would doubt me as a tough f#*ker! I was seriously going to poke your eyes out with my nail file next time you said something like that. But then I took a deep breath and realised that maybe I am missing something - maybe I should experience sport at its toughest. You know, sitting amongst ‘real fans’ as you put it.

So, in the name of Yeahmatego Research, I grabbed three general admission tickets to the weekend’s Glory-Fury clash here in Perth. I still got ‘em for free, but hey, it’s a start! Here I was – about to push my manicured body to the limits – like those athletes in the Gatorade training lab. And now, for the first-time ever, you’re about to read the official research results right here on Yeahmatego!

Firstly, I took along a visiting friend from Germany – she models for Calvin Klein and is a big fan of the Bundesleague (I don’t know what I find more attractive). She brought along her blonde Polish girlfriend for company…already, this ‘sitting-with-the-real-fans’ thing is looking good.

But then it all goes pear-shaped.

I lined up for 15-minutes to get a f#*king beer. And when I do get it, it’s in a plastic f#*king cup! I then have to line up for another f#*king 15-minutes ‘cause I forgot to get Miss Calvin Klein her Diet-f#*king-Coke. While I was lining up, I missed the Fury red card that all the ‘real fans’ were talking about.

By the time I get back to my seat, it’s about 3.30pm. For those of you that haven’t sat with the ‘real fans’ in the Eastern Grandstand of ME Stadium, that’s about the same time the sun begins to blast UV1000-strength rays directly into your retina. At this stage, the only thing I can focus on is the hint of black lacy bra from Miss Calvin Klein as she undoes her top button – exposing more of her ample breasts to the f#*king hot WA sun!

But back to my research…Yeah, OK, I was sitting directly opposite the box when Glory smashed home that penalty. That was pretty cool – high-fiving the fat Pom sitting in front of me. Another thing that was really, really cool, was running into the ex-girlfriend at halftime – didn't I show her who came out of our shithouse relationship the better!

Seriously, Harmo, I’m glad you made me experience ‘toughness’. I feel real different now. When I woke up this morning I stood in front of my full-length mirror and took a real good look at myself. And you wouldn’t believe it…f#*king racoon eyes from wearing sunglasses!

Now someone pass me the moisturiser...I think I'm going to peel.

Hope you enjoyed the footy, because the cricket will be crap!
Well, it’s over for another year. Congratulations to the Melbourne Storm for capturing their second title in three years. Basically their grand final experience was the difference between the two sides - along with having Cam Smith and Ryan Hoffman on the field. Given that the average age of the side is only 25, I think they will be thereabouts again for the next couple of years.

As for Parramatta, they simply game their opponents too much start, albeit they made the game interesting with ten minutes left. On the whole their defence was quite good, but it was undermined by their kicking game and fifth tackle options. Fuifui Moimoi was simply outstanding, and was very unlucky not to be given the Clive Churchill medal despite being in a losing side.

But despite their disappointment, Parramatta has a lot to be proud of. They have captured the imagination of the Rugby League public over the last three months and in doing so have pushed the off-field incidents off the front and back pages of the newspapers and into oblivion – where they belong.

So now the changing of the seasons has arrived – from footy to cricket! So who will be arriving to our shores this summer? Well it’s not South Africa or NZ – they were here last summer. England? No, they will be here next year. India? No. Pity – the cricket was very interesting last time they were here.

Sorry to disappoint you, but arriving here next month will be the West Indies and Pakistan – for three Tests each, starting in late November.

Even better, because the top-line Windies cricketers are in a pay dispute with the West Indies Cricket Board, there is a better than average chance that a ‘second-string’ side will be touring Australia instead!

Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think the Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth sports-loving public will be rushing through the turnstiles to watch a Test-Match that could have the time-span of a One-Day international, and I don’t think living rooms across Australia will be captivated by the so-called ‘contests’ either. If the top-line Windies cricketers fail to show up in Australia, then give it a miss. Wait for Boxing Day at the MCG, where hopefully Pakistan will hopefully put up a contest against Australia.


Perhaps the only highlight of the summer will be the farewell tour for the one and only, Richie Benaud, as this will be the final summer he will be gracing us with his presence in front of the Channel Nine cameras.

The Dazzler

PS. I totally agree with Skins regarding witnessing the greatest sporting event live. I was also at that Socceroos World Cup qualifier, at the same end where the shootout was held. So I know exactly what he is talking about. A million times better than witnessing Manly's 2008 Grand Final win.

PPS. I am a genius! Check out my previous blog to view who I thought was going to win the Grand Final and by how much...

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