Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I'll see your Cadel and raise you a Keown

It looks like the last post might have started something of a competition to find the ugliest man in sport. So if you reckon there is someone uglier than Cadel or Keown, please put forward your entry!

Cadel has got nothing

Now when you start talking ugly sports people, how can you go past the fine mug of Martin Keown? Mind you the horse features of Ruud aren't exactly model material either!

Time to smarten up
For anyone who had been watching the first ashes test, you may have noticed that the match was dominated by the bat and while it was good to see some of our batsmen post long needed centuries or even their first ashes centuries the fact that both sides kept batting and batting and batting virtually made a result impossible.
So for Ricky Ponting and the selectors i just wish to inform them that while in one day and twenty20 matches you can win with good defensive tactics, test matches require you to take 20 wickets because you must bowl out the opposition to win the match. This can be achieved with both better team selections of wicket taking bowlers and with employing aggressive fielding tactics (even more so when you have a lead of 200+ runs from the first innings).
Lift your game guys i expect more from the remaining 4 tests.

No your not
To Matt from yesterday's post, mate I'm sorry to be the 1 to tell you this, but you my friend, are UNAUSTRALIAN! You claim to be a very proud Aussie and yet you can sit there and defend the Pommy wankers and their dirty cheating tactics? Sorry to burst your bubble mate but if you were really an Australian you would still want to punch a Pommy in the face if he gave you $100 for free! Are you Margret Thatcher in disguise?

Rich Dad Poor Club
The amount of money being thrown about by these Rich Dads to their Football Club Children is ridiculous. Sure, when we we’re grounded for two week (read relegated) we wished some Rich Dad would come and adopt us so life would be peachy. Trouble is when it does happen, the result is often a spoiled brat that wants everything (read trophies) and they want them now. Consider these conversations and see if you can work out the clubs involved and then create your own.

Conversation One
Spoiled Son: Dad! I want a Ronaldo for Christmas!
Rich Dad: You got one for your birthday and barely played with him
Spoiled Son: Yeah but there’s a new model, everyone thinks he’s cool and I want it!
Rich Rad: OK son, anything to keep you and your Nanny happy.
Younger Kids At School: Can we see your Ronaldo? We’ll pay you 30 Euro
Conversation Two
Demanding Nanny: If you want your Football Club Son to succeed I’m going to need resources
Big Debt Dad: I want the best for my Football Club Son, but we can’t afford all those fancy toys.
Demanding Nanny: If you’re happy with a Mid-table Son then so be it.
Big Debt Dad: Ok, Ok. Get him what he needs.
(A couple of years pass)
Big Debt Dad: I’m broke, and all my Son has to show for it is Semi Finals in the spelling bee?! It will take me 25 years to recover!
Demanding Nanny: Oh well, too bad I’m off to the next silly Rich Dad
Conversation Three
Russian Rich Dad: Hey there, Sheikh Rich Dad. Have your seen my Son. He’s doing super with some great toys. I fucked the Chosen Nanny so he had to go but it’s worth it just to see my Son succeed every couple of years
Sheikh: Hmm, Football Club Son, hey? I can afford to adopt one of those. Then I’ll buy him a really good toy.
Russian Rich Dad: Just be careful one toy won’t be enough to keep him happy and it won’t win him any spelling bees!
Conversation Four

Aussie Rich Dad: Those pricks at the Institute. They stole my fucking Nanny right before the Spelling Bee!

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